Meat-eating & job anxiety

I left class in a place in the city by a river. It looked like Georgetown. I was walking in a crowd of students and wearing an outfit I was unsure of. An Asian photographer was taking pictures of us, and it made me a little uncomfortable. I crossed under a highway overpass because I decided to pick something up to bring home to my mother for dinner. I went to a store with dozens of live animals: mostly pigs, some sheep, guinea pigs, and rabbits. Customers picked an animal to take home, kill, and eat. There was the option to have the staff kill the animal before taking it home. There was a warning sign stating that the pigs scream when killed.

I never saw the place where the animals were killed, and the environment was happy and friendly. The animals were tame and the staff helpful. I could spend as much time as I wanted talking to, holding, and playing with the animals. I thought about what it would be like to walk one of the pigs home on a leash, and I considered having the staff take care of one and bringing it home that way. I didn’t want to eat them but I knew my mom would. I decided I would buy some frozen fish, which they also had available, to bring her.

There was one giant animal that fascinated me. It looked like a hideous cross between a sheep and a horse. I loved it and wanted to hang out with it, but a staff member was working with it. It didn’t occur to me to ask what it was.

I left with my purchases and found myself in a version of my old office in DC. I had a great time talking with Mark and Amy, but I don’t remember it well. Amy was eating something with many layers of different meats, and it repulsed me. I had tentatively decided to take another job there since I couldn’t find a new one. I was feeling partly excited, and that I was going to make the most of it, and party embarrassed that I had to come back here for lack of options. I filled out some paperwork that involved creating a complicated version of my social security number with a black HR woman. She told me my first day would be in two and a half weeks. I thought of how I would spend those days, sleeping in but still looking for a better job.

Later that night I went back to the scene where the animal seller was, but I was here this time for a political event. There were groups of people with different chants and stances along the political spectrum. However, the overall crowd leaned liberal, from left extreme to very moderate conservative. I was with a group of liberals, but the extremists were so embarrassing that I started to sympathize with the conservatives. Then my attention lapsed completely and I started to watch some dancers practicing in a lit pool in the middle of the darkness. As they practiced their moves, their legs elongated under the water. I called someone else over to watch because it was so interesting, and we watched in silence.